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It’s Time to Play ‘Sheen, Beck, or Qaddafi?’

Clearly, February was a peerless month in the history of unhinged rants. Between Charlie Sheen, Glenn Beck, and Muammar Qaddafi, it was difficult just to keep track of who was saying which unintelligible thing at any given time. Really difficult, in fact. To demonstrate just what a struggle it is to distinguish between the mad ramblings of an entertainer, a despot, and a newsman another entertainer, we’ve put together this quiz. If you get them all right, you are some kind of savant.

"I ask you to prepare because your world is about to change overnight."

"They have awoken a sleeping giant. If I'm misunderstood after yesterday then people are worse off than I thought."

"I have no authority stemming from laws or decisions or anything else, I just have moral authority. I only have moral authority."

"If you love with violence and you hate with violence, there's nothing that can be questioned."

"I urge all my beautiful and loyal fans ... to walk with me side-by-side as we march up the steps of justice to right this unconscionable wrong."

"I'm a guy that's riddled with flaws and by taking my flaws out and putting it in the refiner's fire and letting the bellows of life heated up, I get the opportunity to pound on my flaws and try to perfect it."

"They give them pills at night, they put hallucinatory pills in their drinks, their milk, their coffee, their Nescafe"

"This march cannot be stopped by those agents, those rats who move in the dark."

"I will destroy you in the air. I will deploy my ordinance to the ground."

"You need to listen to your parents. If people disobey their parents, they end up destroying the country."

"The rain has begun to fall in the perfect storm. It has begun."

"There's a new sheriff in town. And he has an army of assassins."

"Forget BMWs and iPads and jewelry. Do you want to know what the next luxury item is? Believe it or not, orange juice."

¤ darren aronofsky don't give a fuck

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hahahahahhahahahahhahahahahhahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaahahahahahahahahaahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha

http://thinkprogress.org/2010/06/18/rubio-foreclosure-spending/

Rubio is reportedly facing foreclosure on a Tallahassee home that he co-owns with David Rivera, a Florida state lawmaker.

HYPOCRITES GONNA HYPOCRITE

BONUS "DERP" PICTURE

♪ what what

And the Ennio Morricone song was on

So you know how it's basically established Canon Fact that Tom Perriello's life is kind of sucky? He does principled things and gets hung in effigy. He gets hit on by creepy beauty queens in Ice Queen costumes. One of his co-workers is a serial killer. And the Tea Partiers are OBSESED with him and ruining his life and calling him an Illuminati puppet and finding out if he is like other men and stuff.

Well I think we may have finally found somebody who can relate to the levels of FML available. Someone who knows what it's like to be loathed by crazy-ass Tea Baggers.

It is.... *dramatic swell* HIS OPPONENT, ROBERT HURT.



OBVIOUSLY his life isn't as sucky as darling Tom's. How could it be? No crazy-ass hobos have tried to cut his gas line and ended up at his brother's house (doiiii). BUT, he is so hated by the Tea Partiers that they won't even endorse him against their sworn rival. Why? Because he once, ONCE voted to raise taxes. And now some dude is going to run against him as an independent. Even the DCCC is getting in on the game.



Conclusion: they are the two most hated men in Virginia, and thus, destined to be bros. ON ELECTION NIGHT THE TEABAGGERS WILL COME FOR THEM AND THEY WILL HAVE TO TEAM UP AND FIGHT EVIL, AND THEN HURT WILL GET SHOT IN THE ARM OR SOMETHING AND GO "DAMMIT, TOM, TAKE THAT SEAT, IT'S YOURS, IT ALWAYS WAS!!" AND SWOON AND DIE AND THEN PERRIELLO WILL GO ON TO FIGHT THE TEABAGGERS AND IN THE END THEY WILL DISCOVER GLENN NYE WAS THE RINGLEADER OF THEM ALL AND TOM WILL KILL HIM WITH THE FIVE POINT EXPLODING HEART TECHNIQUE. I'm not a political analyst or nothing but I'm 94.5% sure it's gonna happen just like that.
♪ smack my alejandro up

Baa baa Weiner have you any lulz?

Goat spears Rep. Weiner, draws blood



Weiner was speaking to reporters in a park near the Rayburn House Office Building, and he was joined by Rep. Jason Chaffetz (R-Utah), and two young male mohair goats, Lancelot and Arthur.

At press time, it was unclear which goat, Lancelot or Arthur, was to blame for Weiner's injury.


http://washingtonscene.thehill.com/in-the-know/36-news/4581-goat-spears-rep-weiner-draws-blood

Okay first, this is not helping with the fact that I find Chaffetz oddly likeable for a hardcore Republican. I SHIP IT Nah it's probably just cause he worked for Huntsman and that gives me some goodwill.

But omg ANTHONY WEINER COULD YOU BE ANY MORE RIDICULOUS. YOU WERE ATTACKED MY A GOAT. A GOAT. WHILE YOU WERE TALKING ABOUT THE MOHAIR INDUSTRY BECAUSE THAT IS AN IMPORTANT ISSUE. AND THE GOATS WERE NAMED LANCELOT AND ARTHUR. (Okay so he probably didn't name them but I like to imagine so.)

It's all so oddly presh.